Surveys

I was at a local Starbucks ordering a large regular coffee. I may have confused the barista: a non-complicated order and I was not on a cell phone while I ordered (don't own one).

I may be evil, with numerous flaws (my wife will corroborate), but rudeness* and self-importance are not among them.

Anyway, after I paid, the barista handed me the receipt with information on completing a customer service survey.

I like surveys.

I like designing them, I like reading them, I like completing them, and I even like analyzing them.

What I do not like is when well-meaning, but clueless management types decide to “do a survey” and do not consider what they are going to do with it once they get the results.

In the rare case they do ask me before they have written them and sent them out, my first question is: What type of reports/analysis are you looking to see once you get the results.
Huh?
Yep, that’s right, think about the final process first.

You know you are in trouble when you get a stack of returned surveys with all free form questions like. (yep, its happened more than once at more than one place)

Tell us how you like working for PEBKAC Corporation? ________________________

What do you think we could improve at PEBKAC Corporation?____________________

Instead of
I like working for PEBKAC Corporation: strongly disagree, agree, strongly agree, ambivalent

Then the next question, “When can we get an analysis of this?”

Define analysis---- Your only option is to get a list of the answers. We can sort it by question though.

Well, off to complete my Starbucks survey. There is a chance at a cash prize, but the price is supplying personal information on “where to send it”. Sorry, but you will have to buy that outright!

*Note to any potential HRIS converts---you really can't be rude as an HRIS person; never forget that you are a customer service provider. Therefore, one of your core competencies will be to master the art of passive-aggression.