Monday, May 5, 2008

Nothing in = Nothing out

Here's a little tidbit for those of you who have to deal with us evil HRIS types:

If you screwed up your entry on self service, (or didn't bother doing it) it is not our fault.

There are many things that may be our fault, but your belief that thinking about a change actually makes it happen or terminating the wrong employee is not one of them.

There is no HRIS system that I am aware of that will change records from brain wave input transmitted across the ether.

So if you get a report with something that doesn't reflect the self service change that you didn't make, please don't give the HRIS team a ration of expletive deleted before bothering to find out all the facts. (or worse, go whining to the VPHR about how HRIS is incompetent and careless)

The first thing that I will do is to make you look foolish.
The second thing I will do is to put you on THE LIST.

What is THE LIST?

It's an unpublished list of annoying users that will be shared amongst the HRIS team (and sympathetic HR dwellers*).

Membership in this exclusive club will entitle you to the following:

Exactly what you ask for. I mean EXACTLY.

Automatic placement on the bottom of the priority list for non-urgent requests. (non-urgent meaning not specifically granted urgent status by VPHR, SrVPHR or higher)

Poked with soft cushions (no, not really, but I had to pad out the list with something)

*i.e. those HR dwellers that are not on THE LIST. Unfortunately, there are a few. (ironically most from employee relations)

Friday, May 2, 2008

Been a while

since my last post---I've been impressed into service with my local little league as a tball coach so my limited free time has been more limited. (somewhat ironic since I have almost no interest in sports--I do like baseball, but haven't watched a game since the 1986 Mets won the world series)

One thing I have noticed about herding a yammering gaggle of 5 year olds is that it is not much different than dealing with my much older (i.e. physically) user population.

Except for one thing---these wee lads are a heck of a lot more fun* and much more amusing.

*unlike performance appraisals